This post is a composite of the three Formula One races held during the month of May. As usual, they do not claim to represent the definitive, purist version of race reports, simply one armchair critic's views on how things are progressing - or not!

Barcelona (Spain) on the 9th was a tame affair. All the teams and drivers were looking forward to the start of the 'European' season, and Barcelona is an easy entry into this phase. They are all familiar with the circuit (perhaps too familiar) having carried out pre-season testing at the circuit and no surprises were expected, except for the modifications to the cars that would catch some of the unwary wrong-footed. As it turned out nothing much happened, and the race bored itself into one's subconscious with a certain inevitability! The Icelandic volcano event affected Branson's Virgin team by stranding them and their cars in China, reducing the time they had to convert their fuel tanks. They only managed to convert one of them. If I haven't mentioned it before, allow me to expand a little on this farce. The pre-season fit for Virgin found them with fuel tanks that did not hold enough fuel for the car to RACE. They could finish the 300+ kilometres at each venue, but they couldn't actually RACE to the finish line. Ho-bloody-hum! Wonder whose head rolled for that one?

The next racing venue held more promise!

Monte Carlo (Monaco) on the following weekend, the 16th. It is the iconic 'road' venue that carries huge prestige for the winner. Every driver wants this one, and the fact that overtaking during the race is almost unheard of, the 'Qualifiers' are of the utmost importance. The driver that manages to gain pole position (P1) is almost guaranteed to win the race if he and his car can survive the rugged conditions. Not surprisingly, Mark Webber (RBR-Renault) grabbed pole and managed to hang on to win the race. Sebastian Vettel (the other Red Bull), could only manage 3rd position on the starting grid, but grabbed second place on the podium because Jensen Button (McLaren-Mercedes) suffered an engine failure.

The safety car was called out three times, each time cutting Webber's lead down to a second or so, but Webber is an old hand at this game and was able to shrug off the attentions of the following pack.

The only other eyebrow raising incident was Rubens Barrichello's (Williams) tussle with a drain cover. Yes, you read that right - a loose DRAIN COVER  spun up and hit his car's rear left wheel at Turn-2 causing him to lose control, which resulted in a spectacular crash, smacking both sets of barriers, coming to a halt in the middle of the track facing the wrong way …

Rubens Barrichello comes off second best in Monte Carlo!
(click for a larger image)

That little incident resulted in the second of the safety car deployments. The third came shortly after because ANOTHER loose drain cover was discovered at Turn-3.

Did I mention that this was a 'rugged' race?

So, two weeks later with many modifications to the various cars, we arrive at Istanbul (Turkey). Red Bull-Renault showed that they were still the cars to beat. McLaren-Mercedes appeared to have worked miracles in the two weeks and were giving a good account of themselves during the free-practise sessions. The venue, Istanbul Park, boasts an horrendous bend called Turn-8 which tends to sort the men from the boys. It is a sweeping left-hander which the cars take at full speed. To go through this turn flat out you need to have a car that is so well balanced that it will carry you through without deviating left or right. Red Bull had the balance; the rest did not. Simple as that.

The dreaded Turn-8
(click for a larger image)

Mark Webber (RBR-Renault) made pole, Lewis Hamilton (McLaren-Mercedes) shared the front, in second place, but on the 'dirty' side of the track. Sebastian Vettel (RBR-Renault) took third and Jensen Button (McLaren-Mercedes) was behind Hamilton in fourth. The scene was set for a two-team, four-car race. There were other players, but they appeared to have lost a little here, lost a little there, and were playing catch-up for the most part.

The race unfolded exactly as one would have expected. The first hint that things might not be going smoothly was when Hamilton's crew took two-tenths of a second longer than they should have to change his right rear tyre. This allowed Vettel to get his nose in front of Hamilton and now it was a Red Bull 1-2. Hamilton was not a happy turkey. Trying to pass one Red Bull was difficult enough, but having to contend with both of them in front of him was no picnic. They drove nose-to-tail waiting for the 'other guy' to make a mistake until Lap 40 (of 58).

Team Red Bull were beginning to get nervous. It appeared that Hamilton was driving the drive of his life and that it was only a matter of 'when' not 'if' he would overtake Vettel, so they radioed both RBR drivers to appraise them of the situation (that is their version - 'team orders' are now illegal). Vettel was going faster than his team-mate at this stage and it appears he decided to extricate himself from the humiliation of being overtaken by Hamilton by placing himself in the lead, ahead of Webber, and on Turn-12 of Lap 41 he got a 'run' on Webber on the inside. When they had drawn alongside each other he tried to move to his right to get the correct line into the next corner. But Webber was still there! Vettel's right rear clipped Webber's left front. Suddenly Vettel was spinning wildly down the road and Webber had to run wide to avoid him - twice! The touch punctured Vettel's tyre putting him out of the race. The two McLaren's following, quietly avoided the debris and slipped into 1st and 2nd, relegating Webber to 3rd.

And that is how they finished.

But not before Button attempted a similar move on Hamilton two laps later. In that exchange they swapped positions 3 times in 4 corners, with Hamilton bludgeoning his way to the front to stay there! You might be forgiven for thinking that this was foolhardy in the extreme considering the outcome of the tussle between their immediate competitors. But 'Joe Public' (including us armchair types) want to see a race, not a procession, and that is what we got. Well done, fellas!

The post-race interview was a subdued, even muted, affair. Much diplomatic language was used by all three podium finishers to describe the events that had just taken place. Hamilton commented that he would have preferred to have won in a straightforward race for the front. Webber muttered something about, "… these things happen."

Webber is a straight-talking Aussie and I suspect that a bit of Aussie straight-talking will take place at team-HQ when he confronts Petula(nt) Vettel who actually had the cojones to make a gesture, whilst walking back to the pits, to indicate that Webber was a bit loopy in the head. Oh boy, is he in for a surprise!

Canada and  Montreal next. 13th June. Make a date …

Yes it was!

This was the first race of the season, and given the changes to the rules and format, perhaps it isn't too surprising

The 'qualifiers' on Saturday were a darn sight more interesting with all the drivers trying their damndest to get to grips with their new cars, hoping to do well enough to snatch a decent grid position for today's race. Fuel taken aboard could probably have been measured with an egg cup because they were all aware that they would ALL be required to fill their tanks before the actual race and it was unnecessary to attempt to qualify with a heavily laden car.

When you consider that the rebuilt cars for the 2010 season are sporting 250-litre fuel tanks compared to the 80-litre tanks in previous years, you begin to understand that computation and complication are uneasy bedfellows. With a full fuel load the suspension needs to be adjusted to take account of the increased weight. This eventually results, in the latter stages of the race, in a higher than normal ride, lesser down force, ultimately making it difficult to control the  car during high-speed cornering.

The result today was reminiscent of the days of 'procession'; Ferrari's leading, the rest following meekly. Today it was Vettel (Red Bull) leading and Alonso and Massa (Ferrari) following, until Vettel's car developed a technical problem. It was almost surreal to hear Vettel's plaintive shout to the pits on the radio, "Is there anything you can do to fix it?", whilst loosing nearly 2 seconds a lap with 15 to go, only to be told, rather tersely, "No. It is a mechanical fault."

Alonso and Massa moved into 1st and 2nd position and Hamilton (McLaren) barged through into 3rd with the finesse of a female shopper at the 'sales' homing in on a bargain. I'm afraid that that was the only bit of excitement during the whole race. Indeed, I got up and wandered off into the kitchen to put on a much needed cup of coffee at some point during the race - and didn't miss a thing!

One can only hope that things get better ...

Murray Walker, or more correctly Graeme Murray Walker, was a Motor Racing Commentator for the BBC until it lost its franchise to ITV, at which time Murray switched over channels too. He is renowned for his 'Walkerisms' or 'Murrayisms', and the spoonerism I've quoted above is one of the favourites that people trot out when the discussion turns to Murray. A gentle and considerate soul, he rarely criticised drivers and preferred to give them the benefit of the doubt in attributing blame for incidents (read as cock-ups leading to accidents).

The Formula-1 season is almost upon us. The first race will take place in David McMahon's back yard, in Melbourne on the 29th of this month. This little post is meant to be a 'laymans-guide' to a fantastic sport that I have followed for all of my adult life. Most people that I know are quite indifferent to this spectacle, and that saddens me somewhat.

The pre-season testing phase for the cars, drivers and teams has just concluded in Jerez, Spain (15-19 March 2009). They even got 3 days of rain so that the cars could be rigged for wet weather racing, including the introduction of the new compound of Bridgestone tyres. This year, for the first time in a decade, the cars will be shod with 'slicks' that were discontinued in preference for tyres that were ridged. Drivers will still have the choice of two dry-tyre compounds and will still have to use both compounds during a race. A green band on the sidewall will distinguish the softer compound.

Also, this year for the first time, teams have the option of employing KERS (Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems) to boost their car's performance. As its name implies, KERS recovers the normally wasted kinetic energy generated by the car's braking process. This energy is stored using a mechanical flywheel or an electrical battery and then made available to the driver, in set amounts per lap, via a 'boost button' on the steering wheel. Under the current regulations the power gain equates to around 80 horsepower, available for just under seven seconds per lap. This could be worth several tenths of a second in terms of lap time, but the additional weight of the system (roughly 20 kilos or 40 lbs) has to be taken into account as the 'allowed' overall weight of car and driver has not been increased. Several drivers have been reported to have lost up to 8 kilos in weight, not a good thing when one considers they are supremely fit in the first instance, and losing so much weight is obviously going to affect their physical effectiveness, and ultimately their overall performance.

Rule-changing prior to the start of each season appears to have become a standard feature, but for me the most incomprehensible rule change this year is the one that states that the drivers' championship will be awarded to "the driver with the most race wins at the end of the season". If two or more drivers have the same number of wins, the title will go to the driver with the higher points total. Points will still be awarded in the values of 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, for the first eight places.

Let us rewind to the 2004 season, only 4 years ago (hey, we haven't started this season yet, so put your shoes and socks back on!). Michael Schumacher and Ferrari dominated. These were Schumie's results:

Any driver with that sort of record in a season deserves to win the championship, but consider this - if this rule had been in force in 2004 - when do you think Schumie might have decided that he didn't need to race any more in the 2004 season? I think even a non-racing fan can work that one out from the results above!

Jenson Button and Reubens Barrichello get to earn a crust in 2009, something they hadn't expected to do with the demise of their racing team, Honda. Ross Brawn (pedigree: Williams, Arrows, Benetton, Ferrari and Honda, and from aerodynamicist to technical director to Team Principal) bought out Team Honda and they will be racing under the new title of "Brawn GP". Button celebrated this news by placing the Brawn machine in first place on day 3 of the Jerez pre-season programme!

David Coulthard retired at the end of the 2008 season. This allowed Sebastian Vettil to move to "Red Bull" from "Toro Rosso" (a Red Bull by any other name ... !) to partner Mark Webber. The empty seat at "Toro Rosso" has been filled by newcomer Sebastien Buemi, partnering Sebastien Bourdais. At least they both spell their first name the same way!

Newcomer Sebastien Buemi

If you are confused, or even slightly intrigued by the apparent similarities, "Red Bull" is based at Milton Keynes, UK, partnered by Renault and uses the Renault RS27 engine. "Toro Rosso" is based in Faenza, Italy and uses a Ferrari engine, usually last season's cast-off. But they both share the same parent team, 'Red Bull Racing', based in Fuschl am See, Austria. Go figure!

Truly international.

Force India Logo

For instance, "Force India" have their base at Silverstone in the UK. Their Team Principal, co-owner and head honcho is Vijay Mallya, and they retain the services of Adrian Sutil and Giancarlo Fisichella for the 2009 season. Despite impressive improvement in terms of pace in 2008, you can rely on the team bringing up the rear. However, the new technical tie-up with McLaren means Mercedes power from 2009. I wish them the best of luck.

That is all for now folks, but expect the odd 'rant' from time to time as the season progresses. I am a confirmed armchair race fan and I always manage to stay awake to watch the live TV coverage, no matter what time the race is held in the host country. This season doesn't look like it is going to be any different.

'Till next time ...

 

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

Hot off the press (today 20 March 2009, 20:15) ... It has just been announced by the FIA (Federation Internationale de l'Automobile - the motorsport governing body) that the new rule for deciding Championship placing (i.e. the driver with the most number of wins) will NOT be introduced this season, the decision being deferred until the 2010 season - if it is introduced at all! Apparently this was forced on them by the teams and drivers who claimed that the implementation of the new rule, this late in the calendar, was 'unconstitutional'. Actually their bitch was they, the teams and drivers, had not even been consulted!

COMMON SENSE RULES, OK!?!