I

know I said in one of the earlier F1 posts that I would return to the subject from time to time, especially when I felt a rant coming on. Well, here I am again, sooner than I thought!

They will line up on the grid tomorrow (ermm... today, actually) at 13:00 hours GMT (UTC for the rabid politically-correct brigade), but there will only be 19 of the 20 cars there.

Felipe Massa of Ferrari won't be making it. If the truth be told he is lucky to be alive, let alone think about participating in the race. The result of a horrible 'accident', in the truest sense of the word.

The final seconds of Q2 (second qualifying session) saw Reubens Barrichello of Brawn-GP (coincidentally, a Brazilian like Massa), lose a chunk of metal that looked like a huge coil spring, from his rear gubbins (sorry, don't know the technical term) which didn't clear the track. Massa was the first driver to hurtle around the bend and one of his front wheels (too fast for even the TV replays to identify which one) scooped up the debris that was hurled into the visor of his helmet. He was knocked unconscious and his foot slammed down on the accelerator. The car slewed through one corner, crossed the track, and then ran off on the other side of the track at a tremendous speed, straight into the tyre wall. The car's onboard camera shows that his hands only left the wheel when they were shaken free by the impact.

This is the sort of head-on impact that makes the blood run cold.

 
Felipe Massa a split second away from disaster ...

It certainly didn't do Massa any good. The track officials got to him rapidly. The doctor was only seconds behind, and the ambulance wasn't too far behind him. Massa was stretchered off to the Course Medical Facility. We knew that things were serious when one of the two helicopters on the helipad wound up its rotors.

The latest news on young Felipe is that he has undergone surgery for a cut on his forehead, concussion and a 'bone lesion of the skull'. The result of the surgery was declared successful, that he is stable and that he is under observation in intensive care. The initial prognosis is that he won't be racing for at least six weeks. I am sure he will give thanks that he will be able to race at all. Ferrari will be issuing an update on his condition later this morning.

Get well, fella. We're with you!

Now for the 'rant'.

Q3 was delayed while Massa was being 'medevacced', the remains of his car were returned to the Ferrari garage, and the track was inspected for further debris that could cause a similar accident. Nothing was apparently found. Wonder where the 'rear damper spring' (I did my homework) disappeared to?

Q3 ended with a spectacle that I have NEVER seen in all the many years I have followed this glorious sport.

YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP - HONEST!

Fernando Alonso (Renault) stuck his car into the P1 slot, then jumped out of his car and asked Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull) and Mark Webber (Red Bull) and any other driver he came across what their qualifying time was. All the drivers appeared to be comparing notes about their qualifying times because it seemed that the official time keepers had lost the plot somehow!

Between them, the drivers decided that Alonso could claim P1, Vettel should have P2 and Webber was allowed P3. And, believe it or not, that is exactly how they will start the race tomorrow later today!

Honestly, you had to see the pantomime to wonder at how much of a farce it had degenerated into! Since when have the monkeys dictated to the organ-grinders? - (see my update below ...)

It could only happen in F1 ...

Update: Statement issued by the FIA on 29 July 2009

In the closing minutes of the Q3 qualifying session for the FORMULA 1 ING MAGYAR NAGYDIJ 2009, the Official Live Timing system did not update the timing screens. This was due to the finish line sensor suffering mechanical failure in the form of a damaged cable.

Well established back up procedures ensured that no data was lost and complete results for the qualifying session were quickly established and released. Formula One Management would like to clarify that at no time was this the result of the failure of any equipment supplied by LG, the Official Data Processor of F1.

Another YouTube offering using Windows Live Writer to access the link, and a simple copy/paste of the 'embed' code from the original YouTube page automatically throws up your selection in the WLW window.

TIP: Before you select the 'embed' code click on the 'options' button and select to display a frame, choosing the colours on offer to match your page. Then select the 'embed' code which will now have all the information included. The vid-insert in the previous post used the identical steps from this post, but I forgot to use the 'frame' feature!

That's the last of the 'Girls' series.

Hopefully I have managed to 'kill two birds' with these posts, using 'Girls' as the topic, but showing how WLW can help you to craft and display your posts without too much hair-pulling involved.

If the many references to WLW has piqued your interest, click on one of the links to take you to the Playpen for more information.

'Till next time ...

This video snippet might be construed as a bit of a 'sexist' or an 'ageist' dig, but I hasten to assure my visitors that it is posted as a tribute to a bunch of 'grannies' who absolutely do not understand the word 'cannot'.

I readily admit to being a bit of a Reginald Molehusband, Reginald Molehusband was a fictional character who starred in a public information film, shown on British TV during the 1960's. Molehusband was depicted as the country's worst driver when it came to parking his Austin 1100 car.

The name of Reginald Molehusband has entered common parlance in Great Britain to refer to any accident-prone driver.

Now you know!

despite having held a HGV ticket in later life. It has expired now, but I've always been proud of the fact that I managed to qualify on only the second go. The first test saw me tussle with a bus on a roundabout. I won, but the examiner didn't see it my way!

I am particularly fond of the 'script' for the Reginald Molehusband film that was shown on the BBC. No copy of the film exists, but the script has gone down in the annals of film history:

This is the story of Reginald Molehusband, married, two children, whose reverse parking was a public danger. People came from miles just to see it. Bets were laid on his performance. What he managed to miss at the back, he was sure to make up for at the front. Bus drivers and taxis changed their routes to avoid him. Until the day that Reginald Molehusband did it right. Not too close, far enough forward... come on Reginald... and reverse in slowly... come on.... and watching traffic... and park perfectly! Well done Reginald Molehusband, the safest parker in town.

Since no film of Reginald (or me) exists, you will just have to 'watch-and-wonder' at these daredevil grannies doing their stuff on Top Gear ...

Whew! Great fun, huh?

Now don't you take this as an invitation to go out and do the same thing with the family car!

'Till the next 'girls' post ...

P.S.
This was a video upload using the WLW built-in YouTube link. Enter the URL and WLW does the rest. Check on the YouTube page that 'embedding' is allowed.

This is Engelbert Humperdinck's version of the popular song, "To All The Girls I've Loved Before". I am fond of the song, and the sentiment it expresses, although I am not necessarily a fan of 'Smarmy-Engy'. Nor do I have much in common with the 'star'.

Except that he is Anglo-Indian by birth and upbringing.

As I am.

So where did I go wrong?

What made me choose this less than universally acceptable vid to regale you with? You may well ask!

The answer is SIZE!

I've been plugging WLW (Windows Live Writer) on the Playpen for some time now, and it appears nobody is taking up the challenge.

This vid is the largest blog-type vid I have on my hard drive. HUGE at 31MB, and I thought I'd give WLW a chance to disappoint me by refusing to accept the upload. It didn't! That's kewl, peeps!

More than that, a simple click on the 'tools' menu in the R/H column of WLW allowed me to upload all 31MB to something called 'soapbox', not a depository I am familiar with. But hey, I'll take the space wherever I can get it, especially if it is free and if it 'formats' the final product to display it as well as it has done. Honest, I had no input into how the final display appears!

Go activate your copy of WLW ...

P.S.
The title is the first in a series of three. You'll have to wait for the others. But not for too long ...

A friend of many years past, called John, came to mind the other day while I was stirring the cauldron in which I make my Sangria. Not unlike Willy Shakespeare's Witches, 'hubble-ing' and 'bubble-ing' (Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 3), except I do it all on my lonesome, rarely cackle, and do it all in a decorously masculine way!

John and his wife were holidaying in northern Spain not too far from where I was pitched on a caravan site. They chose to visit us one day and were treated to a slap-up meal, a curry supper à la Hyacinth Bucket, a typically Dutch dish from the couple on the terrace below, and a spaghetti concoction from the two Italian student-doctors from the same level as the Dutch. I provided the Sangria which, in Spain, is akin to 'taking coals to Newcastle'. John polished off a couple of glasses without them touching the sides and declared the Sangria a winner. Better than the tepid beer alternative. His wife knocked back a couple of glasses in a similar fashion. I decided to 'warn' against the driver consuming any more, and was informed that she had drawn the short straw so it was OK for John to continue - said John!

The evening was a delight, duly lubricated by several rounds of the nectar-like Sangria. It even included an impromptu demonstration by the two Italian boys on how to cook spaghetti. The demo included a testing phase where one of them dipped his fingers into the pan of water and removed a couple of strands of spaghetti and threw them at the bare chest of the other. If they stuck, the spaghetti was cooked. After each failed attempt the strands of spaghetti were retrieved from wherever they fell and returned to the pot to continue boiling. Don't try this one at home, especially in a confined kitchen space!

Like all good things the evening had to come to an end.

Around midnight our non-camper guests said their rather raucous and unintelligible goodbyes, poured themselves into the car, aimed it at the entrance gates of the camp-site, which fortunately were the exit gates as well, intending to join the motorway that would take them home.

Many months later I ran into John whilst we were attending a 3-day military seminar run by the RAF. It was 'attendance-only' and there was no pressure on either of us to complete course work and the like. John, on one of our several sessions in the bar, recounted the saga of the journey home after that night on the Sangria. It was apparently indelibly etched into his subconscious, and to emphasise the fact he declared that he had never touched a drop of Sangria since that evening!

Mrs John (to save a blush or two), a strong-willed woman at the best of times, had chosen to ignore my advice about the driver not drinking any more of my lethal brew. She had apparently quaffed several glasses whilst my back was turned. She could still see, barely, to keep the car on the road, but Spanish road signs were her downfall. She made it to the motorway, but opted to go in the opposite direction. John recalled that he indulged in some feeble defiance, but was too far gone to care. Eventually the penny dropped, about the time they had to pull off the motorway to spend one, and then they tried to decipher the road map that they carried for just such emergencies. The fanfolds defeated the pair of them!

The epic, as narrated by John, was long and eventful, filled with descriptions of inebriated attempts to speak Spanish (neither of them could speak the language when sober), attempting to get directions so that they could start travelling north instead of continuing further south. To cut to the chase - they eventually made it home in one piece. Lucky them!

John was asked to open the gate to the walled compound so that Mrs John could drive the car to safety. That task apparently defeated him too. So she abandoned the car where she had stopped it, and as far as she was concerned that is where it was going to spend the night. It did. Safely. They managed to stagger up a couple of flights of steps to their fancy apartment and Mrs John decided her day was done. Fully clothed she spread-eagled herself, comatose, across both sides of the bed. John's defiance still hadn't reached the stages of rebellion so he curled up in a ball in front of the built-in wardrobe, also fully clothed, and quickly reached the state of euphoria his wife was enjoying.

About four thirty in the morning John decided that he really needed to go out for a slow walk, down to the seafront and back, to combat the moving ceiling that kept creeping up on his unconscious state. I could sympathise; been there, seen it, done it. And that damn ceiling always seems to move in a circular motion!

John recollected that as he staggered to the sea front, his legs refusing to do what his addled brain was telling them to, that if somebody had been looking for an ambassador to represent the drunken Brit abroad, he was waaaaay out in front as the most qualified candidate.

All because of something that looks as innocuous and inviting as this ...

I intend to put up the recipe, somewhere, blow by blow, if a few of you want to try it out. It takes about 5 minutes to make, and even less to drink it.

Saude ...

Update: Recipe-hunters click here (opens in a new window). Enjoy!

A short time ago I penned a post that introduced you to Rambo, and I was pleased with the response from visitors who thought it was a hoot. One regular even coerced her family into watching the video and reported back that they all enjoyed it. That's the sort of feedback that a blogger thrives on!

I now have to declare that I got one salient fact totally wrong.

Sex.

Rambo is now Rainbow. And that is official.

'Sexing' an Agapornis rosiecollis The Peach-faced Lovebird (Agapornis roseicollis), also known as the Rosy-faced Lovebird, is a species of lovebird native to arid regions in southwestern Africa such as the Namib Desert. A loud and constant chirper, these birds are very social animals and often congregate in small groups in the wild. They eat throughout the day and take frequent baths.

Finding a pair of these birds for breeding is not easy because their sex is not easily determined. The sex can be determined by the pelvic bones which in males measure 1-3 mm while measuring 6-8 mm in females.

is a bit of a 'hit-or-miss' affair. So, getting it wrong is par for the course. Rainbow only started to show signs that she was a female when we observed her reactions to Barney, the dominant male, who also happens to be her 'grandfather' in human terms. Each time he showed an element of aggression towards her, she would crouch down with her wings spread, a sure sign of female submissiveness in the species.

At first we found all this amusing, but on reflection it is a bit of a problem. We know she is a 'special needs' bird, but since we aren't going to tell her that, she carries on with her life as if everything is normal. She craves company, and since the other birds tend to instinctively attack her, apparently knowing something about her is 'wrong', something that we are unable to identify, she turns to her humans for that company. It is fun to keep her amused for an hour or two, but she can be as demanding as any hyperactive child, with the added problem that we can't explain that we are tired, and that by forcibly returning her to her cage we are not being cruel. Or perhaps that is the easy part - not having to offer an explanation?

Nevertheless, she is the star attraction for all who drop in on us, especially family and close friends. They are all aware that we have her, and they can barely manage a cursory greeting at the door, before making straight for Rainbow's cage to invite her out to play. She is then carried about the house as if it is the most normal thing in the world to walk around with a tiny bird perched on one's head, shoulders, hands, fingers, whatever! And, of course, she absolutely loves the attention.

Here are a series of recent shots showing the grandson 'bonding' with the bird even though he wasn't too sure about it at first.

  
  
(click on any thumbnail for a larger image)

Regular readers of this blog will put it down to just another 'nutty day' at the 'nuthouse'!

We call it home.

Come back again, soon ...

For a major corporate entity it appears that Ralph Nader's thinking is not advice that the FIA consider relevant, and that's a shame. Not that many people pay attention to Ralphie's Rants! But they could make an effort to listen to the siren calls of their fanbase to get it right!

Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur (Sempang), a week later. The FIA, barely over the Trulli-Hamilton debacle, were faced with BMW Sauber lodging their complaint against the teams that were using the new diffusers. For the unitiated, this is pure politics, not something that a team felt strongly about. The original complaint having been dismissed in Melbourne, the teams that lodged the complaint needed to have somebody reopen the wound or they would not have been able to raise the issue again on the grounds that it would have been 'inadmissable' under the current rules. So, BMW lodging their complaint forced the issue, and the International Court of Appeal (I mentioned the stuffed shirts in the previous post) had no choice but to schedule a meeting to hear the complaints and the appeals against the previous decision. They will also drag McLaren before the court to investigate the alleged 'lies' served up at the previous Stewards hearing in Melbourne.

And all this is to take place in Paris a few days before the Shanghai meeting, which is half a world away. I wonder whose interests these blockheads think they are serving?

Got carried away there! Back to Malaysia. The race was scheduled to start at 17.00 hours (5 in the afternoon if you're still using the funny clock), a time of day renowned for heavy rain at this time of the year. Why would anybody, no matter how inefficient they are, want to calendar a race meet knowing that rain is guaranteed?

And rain it did. Boy, did it chuck it down! A couple of madcap laps in those conditions, with drivers ducking into the pits to change and re-change tyres, and the safety car was deployed. The race continued valiantly under the pacing of the safety car, but after SEVEN drivers aquaplaned on apparently safe stretches of the circuit, the straight bits, it was decided to 'red-flag' the race. So we were faced with the spectacle of a whole bunch of drivers sitting in their open cockpits with a multitude of mechanics fiddling with the cars, even preparing to change tyres if necessary, and other lackeys holding aloft umbrellas so that the drivers didn't drown in a sitting position.

  
  
  
All photographs courtesy of and © 2009 Official F1 Site

Honestly, you couldn't make it up! Nobody, and I mean nobody, seemed to know what was going on. Not the teams, not the television presenters, and certainly not the spectators - live or watching on television. Then word filtered through that the stewards were considering restarting the race. What? Under those conditions?

Yes! They apparently felt it would be OK for the cars to do another EIGHT laps under the safety car so that they would be able to complete 75% of the race and claim full points. Whereas, if the race was abandoned at that stage of the race, the drivers could only gain half the points. Them's the rules, see?

From where I was sitting, at an ungodly hour in the morning I might add, I could only whack the side of my head in disbelief. They were planning to send the drivers around in the rain, in a procession because they would not be able to 'race' behind the safety car, so that they could meet the absolute rule that full points could only be awarded to the drivers if they completed 75% of the race. But the placings would be the same after another 8 laps as they were at the time of the stoppage. So who was the dumbcluck that was making this decision? Facelesss to the last, I'm afraid.

Commonsense prevailed. The race was abandoned and the drivers climbed out of their cars with obvious relief on their faces. Jenson Button was adjudged the winner, and I have to say that I cannot tell you who came in second and third without looking it up, as I had lost interest by then! Half the race points were awarded, and I suspect that that might yet be an area for appeal by the teams and drivers if the end of the season is decided by a single point or two - or worse, half a point!

Will I stay up to watch the Shanghai 'hi-jinks'? You betcha!

Wouldn't miss it for the world ...

Update: (15 April 2009)

The court of appeal has upheld the decisions of the stewards in Melbourne and Kuala Lumpur to declare the diffusers in question to be 'legal' within the design guidelines published prior to the start of the season. What a surprise - NOT!

The fact is that, Brawn GP, Toyota and Williams, the three teams about whom the complaints were lodged, submitted the plans for the diffusers at each design and engineering stage of their pre-season build, and each time those submissions had been scrutinised and passed by the FIA technical directors.

Equally, it is clear that the diffusers are not a 'bolt-on' addition that the other teams can slap on after taking a stroll round to their local Halford's. At the very least the gearbox has to be redesigned to divert the airflow towards the diffusers to make them perform as designed. That means that all the other teams who do not have these diffusers now have to play 'catch-up'. So you can understand the labyrinthine politics, especially when massive amounts of money are involved. And it looks like Ferrari are in the forefront of the 'whingers'. Another surprise - NOT!

I have no doubt that the bigger teams like Ferrari and McLaren (who have NOT complained - correction, 22 Apr 09: they've had a whinge, too!) will already have started work on redesigning their gearbox and engine placement in anticipation of the decision going against them. But it will take 3 or 4 more races for them to become competitive, not to mention the extra testing that needs to be carried out.

I say "Good Luck" to Brawn, Toyota and Williams, and may the outcome of the races continue to be decided on the track and not in some dingy committe room!

Off to China next. Not me, the F1 Roadshow. After the fiasco's of Melbourne and Kuala Lumpur they are going to try and get it right in Shanghai. Fat chance!

I have put off saying anything about the F1-Circus on the off-chance that my disappointment would have abated sufficiently, hoping that I could be objective about what I wanted to say. But, what the hell, I'm not an 'objective' motor racing hack; only one of several million frustrated and disappointed followers of the sport.

Let us start at the beginning. Ferrari, Red Bull and Renault lodged an appeal in Melbourne against the Brawn GP, Toyota and Williams teams on the grounds that the diffuser devices used on their cars breached the technical design. The appeal was heard by the Panel of Stewards and was rejected.

Ferrari, Red Bull and Renault appealed the Stewards' decisions. Then, BMW Sauber launched a similar protest and appeal in Malaysia.

The hearing of the International Court of Appeal (don't these stuffed shirts embellish themselves with grandiose titles?) will take place in Paris on Tuesday, 14th April, 2009 at 10.00 hours. The decisions are expected on Wednesday, 15th April, in the afternoon!

I could wait for three or four days and report on the report, but I don't have the patience. I cannot see how the Court of Appeal can overturn the ruling of their local stewards, penalise the teams in question, remove the points scored so far (Jenson Button and Brawn GP have finished FIRST in the first two races), and leave themselves, the FIA, without any credibility whatsoever!

What else has been happening? A whole bunch of idiotic moves, is what. Lewis Hamilton qualified 15th on the grid in Melbourne with a car that isn't up to scratch. He and his team came to the decision that the gearbox would need to be changed before the race. For that Hamilton was penalised (quite rightly, according to the rules) and had to start from 18th position on the grid. The race was a thriller, the safety car being deployed twice, and Jenson Button took the chequered flag. Lewis Hamilton finished fourth, a commendable race when you consider he started from the back row.

Within a couple of hours after the race the Stewards had stripped Jarno Trulli of his third place and promoted Lewis Hamilton from fourth, along with the 6 points that came with it. TWO DAYS later the FIA reversed the decision, reinstating Jarno Trulli and disqualifying Lewis Hamilton completely, based on an interview that Hamilton gave immediately after the race, and on a transcript of radio transmissions between Hamilton and the team in the pits. Here is that transcript:

Team: OK Lewis, you should need to make sure your delta is positive over the safety car line. After the safety car line the delta doesn't matter but no overtaking. No overtaking.
Lewis Hamilton: The Toyota went off in a line at the second corner ..... is this OK?
Team: Understood, Lewis. We'll confirm and get back to you.
LH: He was off the track. He went wide.
Team: Lewis, you need to allow the Toyota through. Allow the Toyota through now.
LH: OK.
LH: He's slowed right down in front of me.
Team: OK, Lewis. Stay ahead for the time being. Stay ahead. We will get back to you. We are talking to Charlie.
LH: I let him past already.
Team: OK, Lewis. That's fine. That's fine. Hold position. Hold position.
LH: Tell Charlie I already overtook him. I just let him past.
Team: I understand Lewis. We are checking. Now can we go to yellow G 5, yellow Golf 5.
LH: I don't have to let him past I should be able to take that position back, if he made a mistake.
Team: Yes, we understand Lewis. Let's just do it by the book. We are asking Charlie now. You are in P4. If you hold this position. Just keep it together.
Team: OK Lewis, your KERS is full, your KERS is full. Just be aware. You can go back to black F2, black Foxtrot 2.
LH: Any news from Charlie whether I can take it back or not.
Team: Still waiting on a response Lewis, still waiting.
Team: Lewis, work on your brakes please. Front brakes are cold.
Team: If we are able to use one KERS that would be good. If you deploy KERS please do so now.
Team: OK, Lewis, this is the last lap of the race. At the end of the lap the safety car will come in, you just proceed over the line without overtaking, without overtaking. We are looking into the Trulli thing, but just hold position.

The claim by the FIA after hearing that excerpt was that Hamilton and the McLaren team lied to them when they were interviewed an hour after the race. The transcript clearly shows that Hamilton was instructed, at least twice, to allow Trulli to overtake him. Hamilton admits that he told the stewards that he had received no such instruction. Hamilton was being a 'team player' when he said that, and the suspension of McLaren's sporting director, Dave Ryan, confirms that the team's dealings with the FIA stewards was not above board. McLaren have elected not to appeal the findings!

I have heard the audio of that transcript above and I can tell you that the confusion between driver and team was almost palpable. Hamilton had been penalised last season for a very similar incident, and here he was faced with something almost identical. Jarno Trulli had gone off the track whilst the safety car was deployed and the rules state that cars cannot overtake under those conditions. Since he, Hamilton, had 'overtaken' when Trulli had made an obvious mistake, he must have felt that it was an acceptable move to go past. However, neither he nor the team were certain of the 'rule' and Charlie Belated research has uncovered the following information about the elusive 'Charlie'

Charlie Whiting is FIA Formula One Race Director, Safety Delegate, Permanent Starter and head of the F1 Technical Department, in which capacities he generally manages the logistics of each F1 Grand Prix, inspects cars in Parc fermé before a race, enforces FIA rules, and controls the lights which start each race.

Now you know!

(whoever the hell he is) needed to be consulted. Somebody (from the team) decided that Hamilton had better give up his position, and I suspect that nothing more would have happened about that incident had Hamilton not been pressured, by his own team bosses, to say that he had not been told to allow Trulli to pass!

I was going to deal with the Malaysia cock-up next, but I suspect anybody that has read this far is as exhausted as I am. So, we shall leave Malysia for "F1-asco-2".

Next instalment soon ...

Murray Walker, or more correctly Graeme Murray Walker, was a Motor Racing Commentator for the BBC until it lost its franchise to ITV, at which time Murray switched over channels too. He is renowned for his 'Walkerisms' or 'Murrayisms', and the spoonerism I've quoted above is one of the favourites that people trot out when the discussion turns to Murray. A gentle and considerate soul, he rarely criticised drivers and preferred to give them the benefit of the doubt in attributing blame for incidents (read as cock-ups leading to accidents).

The Formula-1 season is almost upon us. The first race will take place in David McMahon's back yard, in Melbourne on the 29th of this month. This little post is meant to be a 'laymans-guide' to a fantastic sport that I have followed for all of my adult life. Most people that I know are quite indifferent to this spectacle, and that saddens me somewhat.

The pre-season testing phase for the cars, drivers and teams has just concluded in Jerez, Spain (15-19 March 2009). They even got 3 days of rain so that the cars could be rigged for wet weather racing, including the introduction of the new compound of Bridgestone tyres. This year, for the first time in a decade, the cars will be shod with 'slicks' that were discontinued in preference for tyres that were ridged. Drivers will still have the choice of two dry-tyre compounds and will still have to use both compounds during a race. A green band on the sidewall will distinguish the softer compound.

Also, this year for the first time, teams have the option of employing KERS (Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems) to boost their car's performance. As its name implies, KERS recovers the normally wasted kinetic energy generated by the car's braking process. This energy is stored using a mechanical flywheel or an electrical battery and then made available to the driver, in set amounts per lap, via a 'boost button' on the steering wheel. Under the current regulations the power gain equates to around 80 horsepower, available for just under seven seconds per lap. This could be worth several tenths of a second in terms of lap time, but the additional weight of the system (roughly 20 kilos or 40 lbs) has to be taken into account as the 'allowed' overall weight of car and driver has not been increased. Several drivers have been reported to have lost up to 8 kilos in weight, not a good thing when one considers they are supremely fit in the first instance, and losing so much weight is obviously going to affect their physical effectiveness, and ultimately their overall performance.

Rule-changing prior to the start of each season appears to have become a standard feature, but for me the most incomprehensible rule change this year is the one that states that the drivers' championship will be awarded to "the driver with the most race wins at the end of the season". If two or more drivers have the same number of wins, the title will go to the driver with the higher points total. Points will still be awarded in the values of 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, for the first eight places.

Let us rewind to the 2004 season, only 4 years ago (hey, we haven't started this season yet, so put your shoes and socks back on!). Michael Schumacher and Ferrari dominated. These were Schumie's results:

Any driver with that sort of record in a season deserves to win the championship, but consider this - if this rule had been in force in 2004 - when do you think Schumie might have decided that he didn't need to race any more in the 2004 season? I think even a non-racing fan can work that one out from the results above!

Jenson Button and Reubens Barrichello get to earn a crust in 2009, something they hadn't expected to do with the demise of their racing team, Honda. Ross Brawn (pedigree: Williams, Arrows, Benetton, Ferrari and Honda, and from aerodynamicist to technical director to Team Principal) bought out Team Honda and they will be racing under the new title of "Brawn GP". Button celebrated this news by placing the Brawn machine in first place on day 3 of the Jerez pre-season programme!

David Coulthard retired at the end of the 2008 season. This allowed Sebastian Vettil to move to "Red Bull" from "Toro Rosso" (a Red Bull by any other name ... !) to partner Mark Webber. The empty seat at "Toro Rosso" has been filled by newcomer Sebastien Buemi, partnering Sebastien Bourdais. At least they both spell their first name the same way!

Newcomer Sebastien Buemi

If you are confused, or even slightly intrigued by the apparent similarities, "Red Bull" is based at Milton Keynes, UK, partnered by Renault and uses the Renault RS27 engine. "Toro Rosso" is based in Faenza, Italy and uses a Ferrari engine, usually last season's cast-off. But they both share the same parent team, 'Red Bull Racing', based in Fuschl am See, Austria. Go figure!

Truly international.

Force India Logo

For instance, "Force India" have their base at Silverstone in the UK. Their Team Principal, co-owner and head honcho is Vijay Mallya, and they retain the services of Adrian Sutil and Giancarlo Fisichella for the 2009 season. Despite impressive improvement in terms of pace in 2008, you can rely on the team bringing up the rear. However, the new technical tie-up with McLaren means Mercedes power from 2009. I wish them the best of luck.

That is all for now folks, but expect the odd 'rant' from time to time as the season progresses. I am a confirmed armchair race fan and I always manage to stay awake to watch the live TV coverage, no matter what time the race is held in the host country. This season doesn't look like it is going to be any different.

'Till next time ...

 

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

Hot off the press (today 20 March 2009, 20:15) ... It has just been announced by the FIA (Federation Internationale de l'Automobile - the motorsport governing body) that the new rule for deciding Championship placing (i.e. the driver with the most number of wins) will NOT be introduced this season, the decision being deferred until the 2010 season - if it is introduced at all! Apparently this was forced on them by the teams and drivers who claimed that the implementation of the new rule, this late in the calendar, was 'unconstitutional'. Actually their bitch was they, the teams and drivers, had not even been consulted!

COMMON SENSE RULES, OK!?!

 

Watch and enjoy!