Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Obesity …

I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.



Clearing out one of my websites of material I no longer wish to have eating up masses of disk space, I came across this excerpt I carried a little while ago. It hasn't dated much, and the fact that it came from a Portuguese newspaper means that few will have read the original.

It looks like 'humour' is universal; even more so when you consider that this bit of satire originated in a mainly catholic country!

I have taken the trouble to have the headlines and text translated for you, and inserted an explanatory popup for a parochial reference (look for the faint dotted line under the word) ...





Buddhists challenge the Pope to a lunch

After the controversial statement linking Islam to violence, His Holiness, Benedict XVI turned against Buddhism and accused Buddha of, "... inciting its followers to the sin of gluttony in the consumption of large amounts of soya-rolls."

The Pope even aroused suspicions that, "Buddha has a secret pact with McDonalds."

The accusations were immediately rejected by the Buddhist Community who threatened to retaliate by spreading aphrodisiac incense around the Vatican. "We will make the Cardinals so crazy, that the nuns will run for the hills!", said Edward Calory, Buddhist Ambassador at the 'Tough-Trunk Restaurant'.

Next week the Pope will speak on the subject of Judaism, and it is feared that he may accuse Israel of supporting Hezbollah, or worse! According to the Italian Cardinal Emanuel Sinistrus, "The Jews eat pitas", and that is not acceptable. The Cardinal says that Israeli pitas are, "... a giant-sized communion wafer, especially created to diminish Christianity."

The Vatican is therefore studying the possibility of creating "communion wafers de-lópào-de-ló

Portuguese Sponge Cake. This cake is normally served plain, but may be served with powdered sugar and fruit.

The cake can be made high like the one in the pic below, or as a thin sponge cake (jelly roll) with a chocolate or quince jam filling.

(Portuguese Sponge Cake).

", substantially larger than the ones used presently.


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Here's a toast to your health.

"Lang May Yer Lumb Reek!"
(Scottish for 'long may your chimney smoke')

or if you prefer,

"Bottoms Up!"